So, I did my presentation, and it went very well. So many people were praying for my success including myself, and I know that is the only thing that kept my nerves in check. I got great feedback from people who I consider movers and shakers in the population I would like to explore, and for that, I am very fortunate.
Today, I am feeling a little overwhelmed and defeated though. I think it is difficult to try to stay focused on my coursework, while staying abreast of the literature in my prospective dissertation topic. I would love to spend all day pouring over the literature, making notes, educating myself on the reality of HIV/AIDS, but that's not possible at the moment. Today, after finishing an abstract on Darwin's Descent of Man, I attempted to refocus my attention to reading a thesis on HIV. Of course, my daughter, who is so adorable, had to interrupt that, but really, I didn't mind. I just have to take time out and give her the attention she deserves. But, it was just so difficult to refocus. And now, I am so unfocused that I go through all of these crazy thoughts of, "What am I doing here?" But, I just keep trucking along, because that is what I do. A professor told me today, "The more you know, the more confused you'll get." I guess knowledge is power, but a confusing type of power.
Anyway, there is a panel discussion on health disparities among Latinos which I will be attending. I am thankful for the little things that keep me going on this dissertation journey.
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